Divorce is a part of today’s life that seriously impacts children, easing the strain of divorce on children is a top priority. Some parents are not mindful of how a divorce can cause distress in their children’s lives, particularly for children in the most defenseless ages of 6 to 12. That strain could carry over into their children’s lives as adults.
Easing the Minds of Children Concerning Divorce
The best of divorces can produce stress for children. The worst can leave behind lasting scars. It doesn’t imply that divorce is not sometimes the better or only option for an ill-fated marriage. But unfortunately, the reality is that, from the child’s point of view, divorce is the end of the world as they know it.
Uncertainty about their future is very scary for children. They might wonder if their parents are still going to love and care for them in their new situation. Subject to their age, a child’s mental state can range from intense fear of abandonment to irritation and blame aimed at one or both of their parents.
The ideal thing parents can do is to make clear their continual love and devotion to care for the child.
Custody Disputes: Give Children Precedence
Being a parent, you are able to help bring custody challenges to the fastest possible solution. The earlier your child knows what their future living situation is going to be, the earlier the child is going to start to regain balance.
When possible, both of you should attempt to come to an agreement on child custody prior to you having to take your child custody case to court. Family law judges are not in the best position to establish who should get custody of your children. They only have a biased view of your family’s structure and relationships. Parents are more inclined to determine this.
Additionally, a full-out custody dispute in court can raise awkward issues. Minute details of your life can be used against you and may put you as an incompetent parent. For a family court judge to establish child custody, they must establish what is in your child’s “best interests”. In hotly contested custody cases, the other parent wants the outcome to be them. They might use anything possible to get the upper hand.
Even though child custody laws vary by state, judges usually consider evidence in these areas to ascertain what is in the best interest of the child:
- Parents: Mental and physical health of the parents, capability to provide a balanced home environment, any showing of parental ineptness (unreasonable discipline, mental abuse, parental drug and/or alcohol abuse, sexual abuse). Where the courts once had a noteworthy bias toward putting children in the custody of their mothers, they are more and more less biased. The parent’s sex is not an aspect in their decision-making.
- Parent-Child Relationship: Child’s relationship with each parent, involvement of the parent in the child’s daily life
- Child: The child’s age, the child’s wishes when they are old enough to voice a reasonable preference
- Family: Support and chances for interaction with relatives, and other household members. (States place emphasis more or less on the value of the grandparent-grandchild relationship.)
- Environment: Adjusting to school and community, spiritual and/or cultural deliberations
Other elements may also be thought of as relevant when determining the best interest of the child. A parent’s habit of smoking, present romantic undertakings and past work practices have all been brought up in child custody challenges.
It is going be ideal for parents to keep in mind that dragging out a court battle diminishes the financial resources they are going to need for their next step of life. Coming to a satisfactory compromise about who is going to get custody, even if not faultless, may be in the best interest of everyone involved.
Maintain Respect When Negotiating Child Custody Matters
Avoid the “Pawn” Game
Try not to use your child as a pawn to get an advantage in your divorce and child custody case, the marital property division, or other financial disagreements. Try to not allow your child (particularly older ones) to use you as a pawn to obtain the “easier” living arrangement.
Following your divorce, children still need boundaries and sound discipline. As difficult as it is, attempt to maintain an unchanging front with your ex concerning expectations for desired behavior and boundaries on unsuitable behavior. Down the road, this is going to help your child feel more secure.
Be Cooperative With Your Ex-Spouse
Take steps to guarantee an atmosphere of cooperation with your ex. Occasionally divorcing parents believe (maybe hope) that the divorce is going to more or less free them of their ex. When there are children involved, that is most likely never the case. Divorced parents need to work with one another at least until their children reach 18, and maybe possibly beyond. Cooperation is vital to easing the strain of divorce on children and is going to help keep you out of court down the road.
Avoid Condemning Your Ex-Spouse
It is especially important to avoid condemning your ex in the presence of your child. Research shows that children remember the negative criticism. In divorced families in which parents belittle one another, children are found to experience more depressed feelings, defeat, and desertion. The divorce impacts them more distressingly.
It is so detrimental that divorce courts include non-disparagement stipulations in child custody orders. They want parents not to badmouth one another; they want relatives and friends to stay away doing so around the children.
Make it precedence to encourage your child to have a favorable relationship with both of you. You have divorced (or are in the process of) your child’s parent, but your child will not “divorce” their parent. Even if their parents are no longer with each other, children benefit from the love and reinforcement from each of their parents.
Whereas no court can force both of you to work with one another, the more you and your ex strive for shared cooperation, the better your children are going to endure the divorce, now and in the future.
Getting a Divorce? Speak with a Family Law Attorney
Whereas easing the strain of a divorce on your children needs to be a significant priority, you might also require professional assistance arriving at a parenting time schedule with your ex. Acquire the legal help you require. Speak with a divorce attorney near you today.
- Staff, F. L. (2021, November 24). Easing the strain of divorce on children. Findlaw. Retrieved June 9, 2022, from https://www.findlaw.com/family/divorce/divorce-easing-the-strain-on-children.html
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