Relationships provide wonderful benefits for a person’s well-being, satisfaction of living, and stress control, but they do come with their difficulties. These matters can put stress on a couple but working through them may either reinforce their bond or tear them apart, subject on how they deal with the problems they face. Going through marriage problems in healthy ways can be incredibly challenging, especially since stressors in a marriage may come from a lot of various sources. What follows are some of the more familiar sources of marital stress and marriage difficulties.
The strain of having fights over money constitutes one of the most often cited marriage problems that spouses face. When couples engage in disputes about money, their conflict is really a symbol of something different—struggles of power, dissimilar values and needs, or other issues surrounding money. Nevertheless, in rough economic times, financial stress may cause more typical stress, more disputes over things not related to money, and money focused arguments also. (For instance, when one partner is significantly stressed about money, they can be less tolerant and more generally stressed; they may then start fights with the other partner about unassociated things without even knowing it!)
Issues with Children
The birth of children brings another possible source of marriage issues. Children are great and bring wonderful and meaningful gifts into their parents’ lives. Nevertheless, having children can add more stress in a marriage since the care taking of the children means more responsibility in addition to role changes, provides more fuel for disagreements and tension, and decreases the amount of time available for the couple to bond. This mixture can test even the hardiest of bonds.
Day to day stresses do not need to equal marriage issues, but they can increase issues that already exist. When one partner has experienced a stressful day, they might be more likely to be less patient when they arrive home, they may manage conflict less than stellar, and could have less emotional energy dedicated to nurturing their partner and their marriage. When both partners have had a demanding day, daily stress of course is only increased. Like with financial stresses, general day to day stress can test tolerance and hop, leaving couples with less to give to each other emotionally.
Marriage problems can surface from immensely busy schedules for a couple of reasons. Foremost, couples that are terribly busy can find themselves generally stressed also, particularly if they are not taking care of themselves with good sleep and healthy nutrition. In addition, they can find themselves less connected since they have less time to spend with one another and more solitude in their lives. Lasty, if they do not work with each other as a team (even when their responsibilities are completely individual when they don’t organize to cover each responsibilities well), they can find themselves quarreling over who’s taking care of what. Once more, whereas busy schedules don’t necessarily lead up to marriage problems, they do pose a challenge that should be worked out.
Possibly the biggest indicator of marriage problems is poor communicating or negative communicating that creates harmful attitudes and factors within the relationship. Communicating negatively is so harmful, that researcher John Gottman has been able to predict with an extremely high level of confidence which newlywed couples would get divorced, based on watching their communication factors for a couple of minutes. Healthy communication is critical; unhealthy communication could lead to significant marriage problems.
Occasionally couples go through marriage problems that may be resolved if the two can acknowledge their habits and make a change. People do not always make a mindful decision to start arguments over trivial things, berate and be critical, or leave the dishes for the other to do, for instance. Couples get busy or preoccupied, stress builds up, and they go on auto. They then find themselves going through the same patterns they had not known they were deciding on in the first place. People simply get into negativity, get into idle personal habits, or get into a rut that they continue because of habit.
- Elizabeth Scott, M. (n.d.). 6 Common Causes of Marriage Problems and How to Solve Them. Retrieved September 09, 2020, from https://www.verywellmind.com/common-marriage-problems-and-solutions-3144958
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