Controlled separations are a new approach to dealing with marital issues that has gained popularity over the last couple of years. The ultimate objective of controlled separation is to recover the marriage by working alongside a counselor to create a separation agreement with distinct regulations.
Controlled separation enables couples that are going through marital problems to live separate from one another and, despite that, negotiate and work towards discovering solutions to their marital problems. It has been reported to be effective when one spouse was inflexible concerning getting divorced. Putting distance between the spouses and individually working with a counselor helps couples see things from a different point of view.
There are always regulations to follow that are written up in contract form. The regulations depend on the individual couple and what challenges they are faced with. The following are examples of basic regulations a controlled separation agreement could include.
Controlled Separation Agreement Regulations
Establishing a Time Frame
Set a 3 to 6-month period for controlled separation, allowing flexibility for couples to choose their duration.
No Filing for Divorce
Agree that neither spouse will file for divorce during the specified period, fostering open communication about this choice.
Determine which spouse moves out, preferably the higher earner, to maintain financial stability.
Equitably divide all assets to sustain two households during the separation, ensuring both spouses feel financially secure.
Establish a routine visitation plan and agree on the level of privacy regarding separation details to protect the children.
Agree on how much information is shared with others to minimize hostility and potential conflicts.
Quality Time Together
Arrange non-conflictual dinners and family time to reconnect emotionally, emphasizing continued love for the children.
Discuss the continuation of sexual relations, ensuring both spouses agree on the level of intimacy during separation.
Defining the End
Decide on the conclusion of the separation period, aiming to save the marriage, with both spouses ideally agreeing on its duration.
In What Way Does Controlled Separation Help?
The below list outlines some of the benefits of controlled separations and a coordinated separation agreement.
- Ends the fighting.
- Provides each spouse with the space needed to cool down.
- Stops the spouses from acting impulsively
- Spouses get to take a shot with living by themselves and having more freedom.
- An opportunity to grow and assess your role concerning the marital issues.
- An actual test of how you feel about your spouse once you aren’t seeing them on a regular basis.
- If the spouses do not reconcile it provides them with the opportunity to prepare for an amicable divorce.
Meyer, C. (2018, March 7). What are the benefits of a controlled separation? LiveAbout. Retrieved January 26, 2022, from https://www.liveabout.com/what-is-a-controlled-separation-1103153
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