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Mediation: A Common Method for Divorce Settlements
In divorce mediation, a neutral third party, known as a mediator, facilitates discussions between you and your spouse to address and settle divorce matters. The mediator aids in reaching an agreement, but doesn’t make decisions for you.
Advantages of Mediation
- Cost-Effective: Mediation is less costly than court trials or litigation series.
- Settlement Conclusions: Many mediations result in a comprehensive settlement.
- Privacy: Mediation sessions are private with no public record.
- Personalized Resolutions: Reach a settlement based on your opinions, not rigid legal principles.
- Legal Advice Available: You can still seek legal advice from an attorney.
- Control Over the Process: Both parties manage the mediation process.
- Improved Communication: Mediation enhances communication, reducing future conflicts.
Considerations for Mediation
- Domestic Abuse: Exercise caution, but some find empowerment in mediated sessions.
- Legal Enforcement: Mediation can’t enforce decisions; court intervention may be needed for certain matters.
- Early Decisions: For urgent matters, court decisions may be necessary before utilizing mediation.
Success in Mediation
Success in mediation requires both spouses to approach with a willingness to negotiate and compromise. Despite initial differences, mediation proves effective with commitment to the process.
The Mediation Process
Even though each mediator has their own way of doing things, a lot of mediations tend to move along the same direction. You’ll usually begin with a phone call which you’ll talk with the mediator or an aide and give background details about your marriage, your family, and what the matters are. A lot of mediators want a considerable amount of basic information prior to mediation beginning, whereas others prefer to collect all the details in the initial meeting when everyone is in attendance.
You’ll then go to the first meeting—typically held in a conference room or relaxed office—where the mediator is going to explain what you can expect from the process. For instance, they may let you know that everyone is going to be in the same room for the entire mediation or that you’ll meet in individual sessions allowing the mediator to get your views or positions privately. The mediator might also take care of some maintenance business—for instance, ask you to sign an agreement saying that you are going to keep what’s said in the mediation to yourself and that you realize that the mediator can’t impart any of what goes on there when there’s a court proceeding in the future. However, the mediator is going to try to make you feel comfortable by determining a rapport with each of you.
Attorney in Divorce Mediation
When you’re represented by an attorney, the question is going to come up if your attorney should go to the divorce mediation with you. This is one thing you’ll work through with the mediator, your attorney’s, and your spouse, respectfully. Oftentimes, family law mediation sittings involve only the divorcees and the mediator. This keeps expenses down and guarantees that both of you do the talking and make the determinations (attorneys have an inclination to take over when they are present).
Unless they think it’s vital that you be represented, go to the first session without your attorney present. (When your soon to be ex is insistent on having an attorney with them, you’ll want to do likewise.) When you’re not represented, but you’ve requested that an attorney be your consultant for mediation purposes, then you’ll probably go to the first mediation session by yourself. Nevertheless, if you go by yourself and then you discover that you can’t voice your position clearly or stand up for yourself by yourself, then think about bringing your attorney to later sessions.
Finding a Mediator
Your attorney is going to have recommendations to local mediators. When you’re representing yourself, you’ll have to find a divorce mediator by yourself. If possible, try to find referrals from an individual whose judgment you trust. You can request lawyers, CPA’s, counselors, or spiritual leaders for recommendations, in addition to friends that have gone through a divorce.
When you can’t locate direct, personal recommendations, the following are some other ideas:
- Find online sources: www.mediate.com and www.divorcenet.com have links to mediator recommendations, as do a lot of other divorce websites and attorney directories, including Nolo’s at www.nolo.com.
- Get a hold of national mediation or family law associations, comprising of www.acrnet.org, www.afccnet.org, in addition to www.adr.org.
- Call your local area community mediation center and request for a referrals — or request if your case would be appropriate for inexpensive community mediation.
- Get a hold of your local bar association and/or a nearby organization of counselors or financial consultants.
- Call your local legal aid office.
You should only work with a mediator that has knowledge in divorce cases and preferably one that is proficient with family law attorney. After you have gathered names, contact the mediators and inquire about questions you need to until you’re somewhat confident that you are able to work with this mediator.
Source:
Emily Doskow, A. (2016, August 17). Divorce mediation basics. www.nolo.com. https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/divorce-mediation-basics-36180.html.
