How to Fight for Custody of a Child

How to Fight for Custody of a Child


Deep down, you’re most likely committed to winning child custody. However, are you aware of what you need to do—and not do—for that to occur? The following do’s and don’ts will assist you in presenting yourself to the court in the best possible light and assist you in winning your child custody case.

What You Should Do

As for gaining child custody, you need to make sure that you establish an inclination to work with your ex while also establishing that the children would benefit from you having custody of them. The following is a brief summary of the matters that are going to increase your chances of gaining custody.

Work With Your Ex

When aiming to win child custody, it’s vital to show a willingness to work alongside your ex. Many parents have honestly lost child custody because of their proven unwillingness to work alongside their ex.

So don’t forget that whereas you may dislike your ex, they are indeed a part of your child’s lives, and you are required to prove to the family court that you’re agreeable to work alongside each other for the benefit of the children.

Utilize Your Parental Rights

Be sure you utilize your parental rights particularly if you’ve been awarded visitation rights with your children. Spend as much time with the children as possible, making sure that you are doing routine, day to day things—for example homework and chores—and not only the fun things like movies, baseball games, bike rides, and eating out. Show that you have a willingness to do the less than appealing facets of parenting as well.

Petition In-Home Custody Assessment

If you’re worried that your ex is going to try to present a negative depiction of your home life, petition for an in-home custody assessment. This meet up can be significantly helpful in your mission to win custody particularly if things go right. However, it’s always useful to have a impartial party assess your living situation and your parenting abilities and create a report for the court.

Acknowledge Impression Is Everything

One of the toughest things to understand in a custody dispute is the fact that its not important if what is said about you is the truth or not; what is important is if the court considers those things to be true. Do everything possible to present yourself to the court as a capable, engaged, and loving parent.

This comprises of arriving on time, dressing appropriately for court, and demonstrating proper courtroom decorum in front of the judge. Don’t forget, perception is everything

Get Familiar About Family Law

Gain knowledge on the child custody laws in the state you live in so you will know well in advance what to expect. For example, for the most part, each parent will have an equal right to the custody of the children as they separate.

As a result, courts typically grant joint custody when each parent is able to carry out their parenting responsibilities. However, when one of the parents wants solitary custody, they need to demonstrate why joint custody is not in the best interest of the child(ren).

Retain a Record

In circumstances where you whole heartedly believe your children would be at risk with the other parent—for instance, since your ex has a history of domestic violence—you should thoroughly document your exchanges with your ex, in addition to their exchanges with your children. Be mindful, nevertheless, that your ex may feel the same way about you and might be drafting comparable records for the court.

Locate a Knowledgeable Child Custody Lawyer

Even when you think you can’t afford a lawyer; you can schedule a free consultation to go over your options. You can also find free legal clinics near you.

Get in contact with your local chapter of the American Bar Association or request the Legal Aid Society for help.

What You Should Not Do

Gaining custody of your children when you and your ex separate is a difficult undertaking, particularly since most courts want some kind of shared or joint custody. However, parents can destroy their opportunity for custody when they aren’t careful. The following is a summary of things you need to avoid doing while trying to gain custody.

Speak Negatively About Your Ex

As difficult as it could be, don’t speak negatively about your ex— particularly to your children. Rather, attempt to keep your thoughts and emotions about your ex to yourself. Even when your children ask you challenging questions, attempt to keep it positive if possible. Whereas you need to be sincere, do your best to not bash your ex in the process. Instead, vent your frustrations to a trustworthy friend.

Arrive Late for Visits or Pick-ups

Small stuff such as showing up late can be used to develop a negative impression of your dedication as a parent. Because of this, you need to be on time when you need to pick up the children or visit with them. Being punctual also conveys to your children that they take precedence.

Don’t forget, divorce or separation is exceedingly difficult on children. So, you want to make sure you convey every opportunity you get that they are important to you.

Reschedule Your Time With the Children

If you desire to win custody, don’t make a habit out of rescheduling visitation with your children. Over and over of rescheduling your parenting time might make it appear in the eyes of the court that you’re only filing for custody in retaliation—not because you actually want custody.

Ensure you’re going to there when you say you will, so your ex won’t be able to present a recorded pattern to the court that puts you in a bad light. Also, rescheduling on your children is hurtful to them.

Abuse Alcohol or Drugs

Don’t Abuse alcohol or drugs, particularly when you are with your children. Besides providing more evidence for your ex, making bad decisions ends up hurting your children in the process. Besides, it’s just one other thing that could be recorded and used against you.

Be sure there’s not even an inkling that you are doing something that would put your children in danger. As a good parent it involves making good decisions that safeguards your children’s overall well being.

Refuse to Adhere to Court’s Requests

If you wish to get custody, it’s important to adhere to every request the court makes to you. Don’t deny doing anything the court is requesting of you. This is the time to prove to the courts how devoted you are. So, if they request that you take parenting classes or seek therapy, do so without delay.

Instead, view the court’s requests as a chance to show just how far you’re willing to go for your children.

Share Details With the Children

It can be enticing to disclose the details of the custody case with your children, but it’s vital to allow them be children right now and not place the weight of adult matters on them. Accordingly, avoid talking to your children about what is occurring including things your ex has done or declared. Whereas you can briefly answer their questions sincerely, you should not be regularly updating them.

Create Negative Stories

When trying to gain custody, don’t create negative stories about your ex. Don’t ever come up with unproven allegations of abuse or overstate your ex’s flaws in order to gain custody. Any lies you tell will return and be used towards you in court. Those stories also will likely impede your potential of gaining custody. Be sure all that you share is factual and can be proven.


  1. Wolf, J. (n.d.). How to win you child custody court case. Retrieved February 11, 2021, from

Speak With Our Child Custody Attorney In Scottsdale

Our child custody and guardianship attorney in Phoenix and Scottsdale will advance your case with concern and personal attention and always have you and your children’s best interest in mind when offering legal solutions.

An experienced family law attorney will work with you to obtain the best possible outcome in your situation. We advocate for our clients, so they have the brightest future possible. Give us a call today at 480-999-0800 for a free consultation.


Jennifer Moshier Collaborative Divorce Lawyer Scottsdale Arizona
Jennifer Moshier, Scottsdale Divorce Lawyer


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